Lately when some friends have asked me how I’m doing, I’ve told a few of them that I think I’m in a bit of a slump.
I spent four years writing and editing my memoir for a traditional publisher before it released in April 2018. In October 2017, I committed to co-writing and self-publishing a book for writers. My co-author and I spent over 12 months working on that project, which released in January 2019.
And now I’m tired.
Perhaps I underestimated the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual energy required by the book publishing process.
I still love to write . . . but I’m tired.
But it’s more than that. I feel something draped over my exhaustion . . . a blanket of guilt over not having the energy or motivation to create.
If I call myself a writer, shouldn’t I be writing?
Shouldn’t I be working on the next big project? Shouldn’t I have another book contract, or at least a finished proposal to send to my agent?
As I’ve spent time searching for a resolution to these questions and emotions, I think I’m starting to to see the blurry form of peace in the distance, slowly meandering toward me.
Because the longer I’ve called myself a writer, the more I realize how much the life of a writer is like the life of a perennial flower.
Like a plant that only blooms for part of the year, we’re not created to produce nonstop.
We’re not meant to create and flower day after day, month after month, year after year.
Unless you’re a hardy evergreen, you will likely go through a dormant season as a writer.
A season of rest. A season of rejuvenation. A season of preparation for new growth.
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After finishing my memoir, A Place to Land, many readers immediately asked me, “When is the next book coming out?” While I was flattered by their desire to read more of my work, a deeper part of me wanted to answer, “Do you have any idea how much of myself I put into that book? I’m not sure I have anything left to give!”
I had reached full bloom, and my petals were drifting to the ground. I had expended all my energy reaching for the sun — and I was wilting.
Now I find myself in a dormant season, still alive but not actively growing or flowering.
And I think that’s okay.
I am letting the land lie fallow.
“For six years you shall sow your land and gather in its yield, but the seventh year you shall let it rest and lie fallow . . . .”
~ Exodus 23:10-11a
“The Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai, saying, ‘Speak to the people of Israel and say to them, When you come into the land that I give you, the land shall keep a Sabbath to the Lord. For six years you shall sow your field, and for six years you shall prune your vineyard and gather in its fruits, but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the Lord. You shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. You shall not reap what grows of itself in your harvest, or gather the grapes of your undressed vine. It shall be a year of solemn rest for the land.'”
~ Leviticus 25:1-5
A few years ago, my husband planted some perennials in the soil near our back door. I admit that I did not have high hopes for their success. I enjoyed them that first summer, then completely forgot about them.
The leaves on the oaks and maples in our backyard turned color and fell. Snow blanketed the world around us for months on end.
Then one day, I saw it. A shoot of hope. A valiant burst of green poking through the black dirt.
The plant was alive. It had survived. And it was back to bloom again.
The barren, dormant season was necessary for new growth.
So I will resist the temptation to scold the ground of my heart for not producing.
I will let the winter do its work in the hidden places.
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God has not forgotten about the seeds below the surface. And when He decides it’s time for them to germinate, nothing will stop them from pushing through the darkness into the light.
So I will wait and let the land lie fallow in hopes that one day soon, when the winter passes and spring bursts forth, it will produce a harvest even more abundant than the last.
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Beautifully written, Kate! I love the encouragement and hope in what you’ve said. Even in your “dormant” stage, you’re still leading us to wait on Him, which speaks beautifully of your soul.
Thanks for taking the time to read, Shannon! Grateful for you and your example! xx
This spoke to me so loud. I’m here because I need hope in a season of loss. I’ve lost 4 pregnancies in 2 years. I feel this article was written for me.
God hasn’t forgotten my dream, even through this winter season. Thank you.
So so good…so so resonates with my heart! Thanks for sharing!
My pleasure, Tabitha! I’m glad it was helpful!
I appreciate your words here. It gives me the proper perspective on writer’s block & God’s perfect timing.
Oh Kate, I can so absolutely relate…the guilt, the tiredness, the hope…thanks for sharing! Enjoy this dormant season, uncover the treasures still inside you, pick up a pen and share… at your own time!
Thank you for that encouragement, Katha! And so glad it was helpful for you!
Kate, I wish I could find just the right words to sum up what you have written here because in them there is both comfort, appreciation and power. That’s a lot to cover in one short post – but that what came to me as I read. Your story about the flowers your husband planted was the perfect illustration for your conclusion. “So I will wait and let the land lie fallow in hopes that one day soon, when the winter passes and spring bursts forth, it will produce a harvest even more abundant than the last.” I have spent hours talking to God about my lack of writing. (I have no plans to write a book – but there are many forms of following the Lord’s lead through writing.) Your story mirrors one in my own life just this morning. I have lived in the same house for 15 years. Every year I get one or two spring flowers – 1 tulip, 1 daffodil, or maybe 0 tulips and 2 daffodils. It’s a weird guessing game what will show up in my front yard. This morning as I was contemplating a writing project I agreed to – and wondering what was I thinking – I went out to my car and there in full bloom I found 5 of the most beautiful pink/purple/mango colored tulips! That has never happened before. I wondered … with gratitude, of course, if God was giving me a gift after all the dreary weather and being so sick for a week. Then I read your words here and realized those 5 tulips are so much more than joy poking through the dreariness of crummy weather.
(Whether you are lead to write another book or not, you do a lot of writing. If you kept track of the time you spend writing, you would find that it’s more than you realize. )
Thank you so much for your honesty and for sharing that Kate. May you be refreshed during this sabbath rest. Xx
Thank you, Fiona! Blessings to you.
Kate,
Thank you. You put words to something I’m wrestling with but couldn’t name.
So glad it was helpful, Elise! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Wonderfully written – thank you!
Much needed as there has been incredibly little writing happening on this end. Though the fields lay fallow they still harbour life below the surface
You are so good at writing from that deep honest spot. It’s refreshing to know that being creative does not mean 24/7/365. You share some wisdom here that applies to all areas of life.
These words speak to me as I come out of my own hard, winter season.
So I will resist the temptation to scold the ground of my heart for not producing.
I will let the winter do its work in the hidden places.
Thank you for these words.
Such strong, true sentiments, Kate. I’ve been reflecting lately about the gifts that are there during these dormant seasons. Thanks for sharing these words. Definitely an encouragement!
There is a time for everything! The last thing a writer needs is a dose of guilt when they are going through a fallow time. I’m currently in a productive season, but I know those fallow times so well. We need to give ourselves and other writers permission to rest when we need it! Thanks Kate.
Such wise words and freeing words. We are creative people, not machines that never need a break. I have more writing ideas than time, but still I need times of rest to build up energy and excitement. And sometimes it is not the writing, it is all the stuff that goes with writing that we (I) need a break from. Glad you wrote this post.
Thank you, this is encouraging. Sadly, we feel these times mean the end of writing for us, but possibly a new perspective will come out of it.
Amen and amen! I’m not on the same level that you are but I needed this release to pause and breathe. Creative gifts like writing are given by God and should be used to bless mankind, not drive us into despair. That holds true for the creative who is using his or her gift. God always gives so that we would rejoice in His goodness and use the gift to reflect back His goodness to the world. Thank you for posting this. Your writing is truly a ministry of God’s Grace.
I love this encouragement, and needed to hear it. I am not sure what’s been going on with me, but my blog that I kept wanting to grow and really work on has been sitting slightly neglected lately, and I’m finding it hard to write. Truthfully, life has been a bit turbulent these past few months (deaths in the family, a new cancer diagnosis in one of our parents, etc.), and my schedule seems to keep changing and throwing me off in the process. I have struggled with feeling guilty and defeated about it, but will take this to heart and pray to see what God has to say.
It’s encouraging to remember that there is often life hiding underneath the darkness.
May God nourish our souls and cause us to sprout again in his timing.
Kate, How your words and the Word comforts me. As I started reading your post, the Spirit reminded me how our human needs parallel the earth’s and how scripture speaks to us about our weekly Sabbath and the 7th year of rest. We don’t really pay much attention to those teachings unless of course you’re Orthodox Jewish, in agriculture or horticulture, or strictly adhering to the Torah, we simply haven’t followed these principles although we should. We need to get back to foundational principles that will help us live a more balance and simple life. So as you continue to encourage us, be encouraged to take your much deserved and appointed rest. In His season and timing you will be awakened and motivated with a new assignment. Blessings Always
Such helpful words…and even more powerful written from raw experience. I love to write but have not come close to the effort of seeing a book through to publishing. But even in my life – all of our lives – the need to rest, even lie dormant, in order to deepen and restrengthen our roots is so necessary. It’s only then that we can really bloom the way we are designed to bloom!
Congratulations again on two books published. And thanks for faithfully encouraging us all every Friday. FMF is a highlight for me. I am amazed at how much wisdom can be shared in just five minutes!!
I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day. Enjoy all the things (and folks!) that make your heart happy!!
Thank you, Kate.
Thank you for this perspective, friend. God asked me to stop writing awhile back and it basically devastated me. I think I have learned of the fruit of that time, but it has been difficult to start writing again. He keeps speaking to me and I am grateful for voices like yours.
This is such an accurate picture, I love it.
It reminds me of the conversations I had with my mother; how they grew their food, and the importance of “rest” to the field for yielding plentiful, nutritious crops.
Beautiful words and thoughts that are so helpful during this season of my life. Thank You!
This really resonates with me in this season as well. The world tells us to push forward, but it is often in the “rest” and the stillness that we can truly push through in Him. Thank you for this encouragement.
I love this kate. Our writing life seems to have a similar rhythm to life itself. We all need times of rest. Often, we have what seem like interruptions of illness, family emergencies of various types, and simply our own inability to write. God uses all of it to deepen us as people and as writers. What a great process!